About 10 years ago, I was lucky enough to read the The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  Initially it was to understand how to love a partner the way he wanted to be loved,  it was a very very interesting read and I would recommend it to anyone wanting to get a deeper understanding on how we feel loved.

The biggest lesson I learnt however in reading this book, was how I was showing love to my then 4 year old daughter.  I’ll let you in on a little secret… my top love language is physical touch.  Now, I don’t mean this in an ‘in the bedroom’ kind of way, I mean it in a holding hands, kisses, touches, loving caresses etc kind of way.  My second top language is quality time.  Because these were my top two, and I didn’t know any different, I assumed that everyone felt love the exact same way.  So when my daughter was born, I showered her in kisses, hugs, cheek squeezing (they were just soooooo cute and squishy!) I absolutely couldn’t get enough.

She was about 1 year old when I remember sitting on the couch with her and wanting to cuddle her and she pulled away from my love for the first time.  Now, I know this probably isn’t unusual for a baby who is wanting to play with her toys and run around and do anything else but cuddle with her Mum but it got to me.  As she got older, she would pull away from my embrace or my kisses or sometimes she would tolerate them.  I felt though that she clearly didn’t appreciate them like I did. Reading the Five Love Languages made me realise and understand what her love language was.  Receiving Gifts.  The joy she would show when I surprised her with a gift, even something really little, was the most rewarding feeling. I would buy a little magazine or kinder surprise and put in on her car seat when she got in the car after school.  She literally glowed and I felt in those moments that I was connecting with her far more than when I was forcing my love language onto her.  It felt a lot more balanced.

So, if you get an opportunity to read it, please do.  Or even just read the descriptions on the photo attached which will give you a good idea of what they are.  Ask your partner how she/he likes to be loved.  Sit down with your children and ask them ‘What can I do to make you feel loved’.  You may get a smart arse comment or you may get an answer that will help you connect with your loved ones on a much deeper level.  Enjoy!!